I started my wedding planning. I decided to have one after all. I’m going to be the first one in my family from the grand kids to marry. To not have a child and get married. I would’ve never in my life thought I’d be the first one. This time last year I was crying over heartbreak and now I am planning my wedding with my amazing family and fiancé.
Im extremely blessed. I finally got my prayers answered
I feel like I’m home. This thanksgiving is everything I could ever want and ask for. So many beautiful things coming my way.
People from high school still feel the need to comment on my life and I haven’t spoken to anyone from my class since last year
I spent the entire day with my man with no other responsibilities . I don’t remember the last time we got to fully enjoy each others presence for an entire day without interruptions. It’s perfect. I have my glow back. I have my laughter back. I have my smile back. I needed this. I needed this badly. I’m so blessed
Last week of November is just a couple days away. This time next week I will be on my way home from my trip to Texas. This year is coming to an end and filled with soo much changes and growth.
I lost a ton of people I was once close to. I lost the people I thought I’d need to make it. And I’m okay. I always look back and realize how toxic the relationships in my life were.
I started this year ending a 2 year relationship with the
Biggest alcoholic I couldve ever been with. That relationship was soo toxic and filled with abuse I thought I deserved. He’s still crying over the way it ended. Because at the end I came out on top.
I also lost one of my best friends, his jealousy over rode our actually friendship and he became the ugliest bitterest person I’d ever meet. I understand where I went wrong but at the end of the day he fucked me over. He let his envy get In the way and turned into the biggest pathetic jerk. He’s still unhappy and feel the need to comment my life so I guess I came out on top too.
I also had gained a ton more then I lost though. I found my soulmate. Someone who’d give me the world and has proven it over and over again. He’s given me love. Affection. Patience and the reality of life. He’s held me up when I fall, he’s kissed my tears away. He provides me with everything I need. He’s given me commitment. He’s amazing and I’m blessed.
My relationship with my sister is just starting all over again. Which is a blessing in it’s self. Where we are today is no where near where we were this time last year and I’m thankful for that. I have a great relationship with my mother and learned to give her the respect she deserves.
I’ve grown soo much this year. I can’t wait to see where this life takes me in 2014. I just know I’ll make it my goal to be the happiest I can be.
-become Ms Chavez
-Attend school and finish as much as I can
-become more independent with my thoughts and decisions
-have a closer bond with my sister
-possibly a 2nd job
-apartment completely furnished
-take a week off and road trip with my man
-become a gym fanatic
Woke up to a text from my mother telling me she misses me, that kind of broke my heart. My mother is always complaining that I spend enough time with her and how I need to let go of her hand and trust myself, so I have been lately. I don’t really talk to her much and it’s killing her now. My mother has always been my go to for everything. And now I’m realizing that this big translation with John has set my mother and I back,
I don’t know if I should see it as something great, since it means I’m growing up. But I kinda don’t want to grow up just yet. I realized I liked my little box of limited responsibilities. I wasn’t expected much from, but now I have a list of responsibilities and things I have to get done before the day ends. Daily.
It just overwhelms me sometimes.
I’ve came to terms with my happiness. I deserve this. I’m a great person.
It’s okay to feel something beautiful. It’s okay to feel happy.
I am in love with my life.
I am in love with my partner.
And I’m in love with my ring.
I’m only human,
I tend to forget that sometimes.
I wish I could vent comfortably, I wish I had friends who’d care to know what’s in my heart and mind.
I should just sleep. Sleep takes it all away.